The game of isolation.

eyes open, war stance, we will not be easy prey.

Oct 07, 2024

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‘I refuse to be a casualty of war,’ is what I messaged my friend as I processed what was (honestly) a mess of a situation I have found myself in. It's a mess that involves a lot of Christian brothers and sisters who all genuinely loved one another but are flawed and imperfect … just like me.

Once upon a time, this type of situation would have totally knocked me out. I would have run like the wind and sheltered myself safely somewhere less vulnerable, somewhere where I was less known.

In reality, friendships are just hard, and friendships in the church are sometimes even harder.

It is the one place that you think, surely I will find people here who will love me well, who will walk with me through all the different seasons, people who will be ‘my people’. But instead, most of us are faced with disappointment, deep wounding and a lot of loneliness.

People suck.

Ha, we do! (me included!) We have a tendency to hurt each other, to misjudge and miscommunicate, to lean in when we should have waited patiently, and to watch passively when we should have leaned in. We use all of our brain cells to make friends and position ourselves well for those first impressions; and then we are rubbish at loving each other well long term and sustaining the beautiful friendships that God has given to us.

AND (yes there is more) on top of the human error and the human imperfection there is a very real enemy who is out to destroy unity in the body of Christ. He knows that in unity there is a blessing1, that in unity there is the presence of God2, and in unity people will know we belong to Jesus3. And so unity is something that Satan comes for with everything he has.

Unity being defined as ‘oneness’ with one another, as ‘my heart is good with your heart’, as ‘there is love and no offence’.

‘I refuse to be a causality of war.’

This was my acknowledgement of the greater context at play in the situation of hurt that I was in. This does not diminish the hurt and pain of the circumstance but it does bring my awareness to the strategy of the one who is out to destroy me and the unity of the body of Christ. It is a statement that fuels a holy righteous zeal in me to stay the course that God has asked of me.

‘Lord, I refuse to slander those who were made in your image, I refuse to be the access point of offense in my community, I will not be a pawn for Satan’s game of destruction.’

When my daughter was a little younger I went through a period of time where I was really into nature documentaries and I remember watching a lion hunt for the first time. It showed a lion crouched in the shade of a bush watching as many gazelles ran past her. I was surprised at how long the lion watched and waited, ‘there are so many meals running passed you… what are you waiting for?’ was my question to the lion. The narrator answered as if they knew the questions of the viewers, ‘the lion is waiting for any young or injured gazelles that have fallen away from the pack’.

1 Peter 5:6 says:

‘Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.’

The enemy is limited, he is not omnipresent like God, nor does he have an unlimited resource at his disposal. So this means that he has to be very strategic in the way that he ‘looks’ for someone to devour. He has to plan and wait, isolate and wound. He does not have the resources to take out a believer who is upheld in strong relationships, but he can pick off those isolated from community. The isolated, wounded and immature are easy prey.

They are his ideal meal choices.

But people don’t naturally decide to go it alone. Within our core nature is a desire of relationship, for family, community and belonging. And so, step one for Satan is the game of isolation.

This is an easy one for him, because we as the Western church are so obsessed with getting our needs met. We all want a community that serves us, that loves us well, that is faithful and loyal to us. We build our communities based on our needs and wants. We elevate our ideas of unity and community over God’s, and we set ourselves up like little gods in the centre of it all. So long as we continue doing this we will be extremely easy targets for isolation.

Because those who build their communities around their needs being met set themselves up for easy disappointment and right on the back of disappointment comes the strategy of offence.

‘They wouldn’t have done that to me if they really loved God.’

‘They would have seen I was hurting if they were really my friends’

‘They were so insensitive when they said that, they only think of themselves’.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer said it this way,

“Those who love their dream of a Christian community more than they love the Christian community itself become destroyers of that Christian community even though their personal intentions may be ever so honest, earnest and sacrificial. God hates this wishful dreaming because it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. Those who dream of this idolized community demand that it be fulfilled by God, by others and by themselves. They enter the community of Christians with their demands set up by their own law, and judge one another and God accordingly.’

In other words we have become the god of our communities; and when we are the gods of our communities we are easy targets for pride, easy targets for offence and isolation.

When we are the god of our communities we become easy targets for the prowling lion.

‘I will not be a casualty of war’

Step two: pounce.

‘Let the believer believe that he is better on his own.’

‘Let him believe that he has a personal faith and does not need the counsel or prayer for his brothers and sisters.’

Bit by bit the journey of being a lone-ranger becomes more and more attractive. It promises little to no pain and a whole lot of control. But it also means no accountability, no prayer covering and no wise counsel. At this point it is only a matter of time.

Don’t get me wrong, Jesus is able to, and many times does, intervene at these points. He is able to bring gold from the dust, and beauty from the ashes. It is probably my favourite type of testimony but, what I have been gearing up to say through all of these words and sentences is:

If you have anything to do with it, do everything you can to fight for unity and God-centred relationships, strive to live in peace with your brothers and sisters, cover offences with love that comes only from the limitless one, and confront with love offences so that you may live in true unity.

Do everything you can to love the actual community in front of you. Forgive until have nothing left and truly become a living sacrifice. And build community around Christ’s love for each other. Expel the idol of self and elevate Him as the centre of your communities.

As He is exalted His principles of love, joy, peace, righteousness, mercy, justice and honour become the foundations of your community. Forgiveness becomes an overflow of love for one another and offence almost impossible as the idol of self has been crucified.

Unity built on these foundations, unity built on the solid rock of Christ, is much less easy to devour.

‘We will not be casualties of war.’

I know it is hard, I have cried so many times from the wounds of being in community with those we call our brothers and sisters in Christ. And I am sure that I have too caused tears and hurts to others.

But this is God’s plan A, we are His body and He desires us to be unified. We are His bride, and He is preparing us to be spotless on the day of His return; And community is the vehicle He has chosen as one of the way to do His refining of us.

Stay the course my friends, forgive and let go. He is faithful and trustworthy.

As always I am cheering for you,

Until next time,

Love Anna x

(drop me a comment, it’s been lonely in the comment section!)